On White Fragility and Race in CT. And thoughts on possible solutions..

So I posted this article:http://www.courant.com/community/hartford/hc-hartford-social-media-post-1220-20151219-story.html on FB.   And I suspect this fragile, pale, white woman goes to the church I used to go to.   Having gone to a mostly white church, and worked at the library in the same town... even though the town is actually more diverse than it appears, there is a real racial problem.   And it is continually perpetuated through the church, through the fact that the majority (if not all) of the town council are white.   The majority of the police force and fire department, from their pics on FB, all seem to be predominantly white...

Kids are bussed in from Hartford, but I would be genuinely worried about raising a brown child here.  

They get it from an early age.  They get it from being in an all-white church, which "sponsors" a brown girl from Haiti.   They get it from school, from the sanctification of MLK, and "the civil rights era which is over and done with".   They get it from reading books with white heroes/heroines, and movies with the same.

And I start to think, maybe it needs to change with the churches.   Maybe we stop letting churches be exempt from anti-discrimination.   Maybe we have to come in and stop letting churches preach "the other" and hate, and look through their CCD materials for racism and sexism.  

Maybe we need to integrate the churches.

Not just the schools.

But the lives.  

Because otherwise, the first real contact a "privileged" child has with someone of another color is in college.  And that does not always happen well.   And so there end up being bubbles in college, and no learning or exchange, or equality.  

I think we need to start with the churches now.  And if a church does not want diversity, it loses its tax free status and becomes a "hate group".  

Because I have heard hate coming from the mouths of churchgoers, and I stopped going.  If there is hate in a place that is supposed to be about love...  then how...  

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas

This is for all the people who are solo at Christmas.  You don't have to be Scrooge, sitting looking mournful all alone.  I have never had much luck with Christmas open houses, as most folks I know have families they are spending Christmas with.   So I do my own thing.  I do buy a tree and a few decorations, and put out a crèche.  I make eggnog.  I try to go to at least one carol sing or seasonal show.  I bake.  Panforte, mince tarts, I'm planning on trying my hand at a gingerbread house this year.  

I plan a nice meal, and try to Skype with family.  I have a silly Facebook tradition of singing the twelve days of Christmas, starting on Christmas Day and ending on Epiphany.  Some of my friends join in, some don't.  Some get silly with it.  

You could get a live tree every year and plant it after the holidays, you could have a book you reread every year, my point is that you don't have to give up on the holidays or not have your own traditions just because you are single.   There are, of course, a lot of volunteer opportunities this time of year, but I prefer to volunteer at times when there is need but not quite so many people queuing up to feed the homeless.   

Use the good china, buy yourself a pretty plate setting if you don't have china, build a fire, have a spa day, watch silly movies.... But be good to yourself.   

What we need to do to fight climate change.

It is a big job, and the "Science is the future" motto of the 1950s played a huge part in creating the issue.  Places like Egypt need to start looking at solar, at using garbage to fuel electricity generation (in fact, more countries need to do that).  I've seen how much trash my neighbors throw out.   If you just used the trash output of Farmington....  you could probably have something that paid for itself.  

Solar in more places.  

Smaller farms, fewer manmade chemicals.  Bring back animal husbandry in the smaller farms for a richer ecosystem, because the poop, etc feeds the soil, most animals (particularly pigs) can take the leftovers/scraps/etc.    Its a circle.   And we are actually suffering from the lack of the circle because our gut bacteria are not as plentiful as they were.

A lot of the fertilizers out there that are used commercially are made from oil.  

Other things sourced from oil?  Mineral oil, vaseline, plastic.  Our roads.  Anything tarmac.   Plastic plastic plastic. styrofoam.

We have way too much plastic.

We need to go back to cardboard, paper, ceramic, glass.  Cloth bags.   Even the paper ice cream cartons are actually lined with a layer of plastic.   (it used to be wax, once upon a time).  Trying to figure out how to cut plastic is hard.    Even my fridge does have plastic in it, does have ziplocks.  

Everything is plasticized.

We need to stop covering new appliances with plastic that peels off and goes in the trash.  Everything I buy seems to come plasticized.  

And plastic is really only recyclable once.   So you can buy things made from recycled plastic, which is all well and good, but..   they still end up in the landfill, in the oceans.

I keep wondering if there is a way to use old plastic bags as pavement material.   There have got to be more solutions.  

We need to stop lighting up empty parking lots, roadways, etc.  Bring back dark skies.    We really don't need the Trader Joe's sign on when the store is closed.   Or all the lights on in empty hallways.  We have motion sensors, we have options, sensors in the roads, or cellphone signals or, or, or.    How many office skyscrapers are completely lit up when no-one is home?

We need to start building for walking.   And we need to figure out greener transportation.  Bike lanes.  Minibuses for off-peak hours.  I keep seeing buses with one person in them.  

We need to think outside the box, people.

I had a conversation with my mother the other day.  The traffic is so bad in Cairo that the guy who helps my dad has real trouble getting there on time.   I suggested maybe talking with some of the other residents of the building and seeing if they can organize some kind of community pickup/carpool of their servants.  And my mom was amazed, because that thought had never crossed her mind, or seeing if there was a community solution.    I doubt it will happen, but again, we need to think outside the box.

Steps that need to happen to save the environment and the planet.

1) We need a substitute for asphalt.    Seriously.   When you think of how much more asphalt we have in this country, and how much would be needed to repair all the potholes and everything?  Apparently old asphalt is used as fill and such, so it is reused to a certain degree...

2) We need real-world options for things like furnaces, to be environmentally friendly.   And plumbing systems should be revamped to allow for reuse of grey water to flush toilets/water gardens/etc.  Recycling of electronics, older and newer.   Stop building in planned aging for appliances, computers, tvs, etc.

3) No more plastic.   Just stop packaging cheap plastic in cheap plastic.   Start making glass refrigerator dishes again.

4) No cheap meat.  CAFOs are destroying the planet.   Cheap meat is not cheap in the long run.

5) Stop letting the corporations run everything.  As long as PROFIT is uppermost, the planet is doomed.

6) Even going "vegan" if all you eat are packaged foods...the rainforest is being cut down for your soybeans..sorry.

7) 'green' lawn alternatives.   Electric mowers, thyme lawns, look into your options.

I have to replace my furnace within the next year or so....

I also need to upgrade my computer, DVD player, and TV within the next year too.

And I get so tired of buying things that break instantly.   We have created such a throwaway society....

*sigh*

And that needs to change.

We need better public transportation.  We need better ways for people to walk.  We need ways for people to bike.  Technically I could bike to the Library and Post office and grocery store IF there were bike lanes/bike paths.  

Just in time for Thanksgiving, How to clean your Dyson Animal 41

I originally planned this post back in the summer, but then Life ran away from me, and I got slightly depressed.   So, last year I decided to clean my Dyson, I looked online, and found bits and pieces that kind of applied, but a lot of them seemed to be running water where it shouldn't go.   So I cleaned mine, and I could not believe the difference in suction, etc.    So now it is going to be a roughly once-a-year thing.  You will need some nice dishwashing soap/gentle detergent, a sponge,  a rag, maybe a long flexible brush/paintbrush, and patience.   It will take a couple of days for the filters to dry, so give yourself that time.  

Now, pictures, that should be self-explanatory.  A few tips.  Most of it comes apart pretty easily.   Do NOT run water through the brush attachment, that is what the rag/paintbrush is for!    But if you get the bottom off, you can get the hair out (Sometimes I am amazed at how much hair I shed).   You can wash the filters with a gentle detergent.  And I used it on the canister as well.  You can run water through the purple insert, and I tend to take the pole attachment off and wash that.   Unfortunately, the bottom hose does not come off, that I was able to figure out.   And you should be able to figure out from the pics how to take the brush section off.  Next time, maybe, I will have someone video me. :)   Please leave any comments or questions....

Not-so deep thoughts on modern life...and waste.

So I am currently watching The Bletchley Circle.  I like those period British type dramas.  And in some ways, Egypt in the eighties was reminiscent of Britain or the States in the fifties...  

One thing that strikes me very much is the lack of plastic.  I keep working at cutting down my plastic usage.  We used to hoard ziplock bags when I was growing up, we'd bring them over from the states.  

I try to use glass or ceramic (or metal) in the fridge.  But it's hard.  Everything these days has plastic components.  And they don't make the old refrigerator glass anymore.   

But you watch these old shows, or read the books of the time, and I feel we've lost something.  A, not frugality, but a lasting ness.  I am not one for nostalgia over Walkmen or cassettes, or MTV.  But I am a little nostalgic for drinking fountains, pay phones, being able to be unconnected (as I type this on my iPad).  There was a certain bliss to going to the library and having the stacks and stacks of books to do research in.  

Don't get me wrong, I love being able to google something on my phone, or tune in the Proms or the Opera online.   

But there is a certain satisfaction in the old, too.  

And if we brought back drinking fountains, we could get rid of all the plastic bottles...

How to save California... (in other words, it is up to us)

So, California has one year of water left.  ONE YEAR.  

And we are all partially responsible.  And there are things we can do to save California.

1) Stop drinking bottled water and soda.  A lot of bottled water and soda is actually made with California water.  I suspect some of these nut milks are also manufactured in California, with California water.  There may be a local soda maker near you, check.  Or figure out how to make some beverages at home...

2) buy almonds which are not from California.   Almond trees use a huge amount of water, and need a consistent supply.  California produces the majority of the world's harvest of almonds.

3) stop.  Look at your produce.   Is your kale from California?  Your beets?  Your strawberries?  Your apples?   Go to Localharvest.org, find a local farmer's market or a CSA.   Buy a freezer.  Start freezing your foods.  Start making your own jams and jellies.

I just looked, my strawberries are from CA, as are my Asian pears.   There are a lot of things that I suspect are made in California, but have no label saying so, directly.   My frozen organic green beans, I suspect, are Californian.  They just say "product of USA" but the company is a California-based enterprise.

But this is part of the problem with our food supply.  With the advent of trucking, it has become easier to grow mass quantities in one part of the country and ship it all to other parts.

And we had problems with supply this winter, in the snowy wastes, when the trucks could not get through.

We don't have tracking of where our food is grown, if it is processed into jam, or even frozen, or made into apple chips.  My apple chips claim they are a joint production between the US and Chile.  Does this mean that the apples are Chilean and they are processed here? Or vice versa?

I am foreseeing doom unless we stand up.  Unless we talk to our food suppliers, our beverage makers, say "prove to me your product is not sucking down California's water supply".  

Talk to your grocers.  Tell them, hey, I'm worried, can you source a more local product?

In the summer, it will not be a problem.

In the winter, we may end up not having raspberries in January.  We may truly end up eating more like our forebears, seasonally.  

But lets make our stand before California turns into a barren desert, and we have no food left on the shelf.

What people don't talk about when they talk about the Apocalypse.

They don't talk about periods.  Its mind-boggling, but there you have it.   In all the fictional end-of-the-modern-world stories I've read...  

Some of the dudes who write these are allegedly married to women, according to their bios.  Some of the writers are women.  There are lengthy depictions of battle scenes, or torture, but...

No periods.

I'm not talking about a lengthy screed of every cramp, and washing out pads, but COME ON.  Periods are messy.  A week of bleeding, for me, debilitating cramps.   And leaves are not going to cut it.

But reuseable pads have to be washed.  And dried.   And would probably attract animals.  They wouldn't have disposable.   Or tampons.  Although they might find a Diva cup or use a sponge (but even the sponge needs to be washed out)

And not even a mention.

Or what happens when the birth control and the condoms run out?  A rise in STDs?

And the apocalypse has to happen at the right time...  if it happened any time after late spring, forget about finding seeds in the grocery store...

If the apocalypse happened right now, I'd be able to plant squash and tomatoes and potatoes.   I have some old seeds, but those are mostly for flowers...

I wouldn't have anything for catching rain or melting snow over the fireplace...

What have you noticed missing in stories about the apocalypse?

On singledom...

So, a friend of mine recently got married.  She has been in a long term relationship for over 20 years, and has kids.    And this got me thinking about being single.  Because of course I am happy for her, but at the same time, there is a twinge...  there is a feeling that I will never meet someone who thinks the stars shine in my eyes...  and no kids, too late for that.  (And that is a completely different post about dating in your forties, ugh)

Yes, there are many things I love about being single...  I only have to cook for myself, I can paint the downstairs fuchsia if I like.  I don't need to incorporate someone else's tastes or family into things...  I can use up leftovers, and plan on leftovers.

 I do think that everyone should have to live alone for at least one year.  My mother only did later in life.  

I have a whole house to spread out in...

But there are times when it feels very lonely.  

No one to say good morning, or offer to get more milk.  Or make the coffee, or run a load of laundry when you just can't move.   (or mow the grass)

Sometimes (too often) not cooking because you will be eating the same thing for a week.  I love to cook...

But then again, I'm having rice pudding and junk tv for dinner...  so its not all bad.

And there is satisfaction in figuring out how to bleed the baseboards, or fix the washing machine.

But also frustration in dealing with people who expect me to have a husband.  And no-one to run interference with nosy neighbors...

(you'd think no-one had lived alone before in the history of ever)

The thing I miss most, touch.  We don't live in a society that values touch...  

I'm lonely at times, but in some ways I'm more lonely living in suburbia, among the happy families, than I was out in the woods...

I don't miss living in a box, sandwiched between other boxes.  New York gives me claustrophobia.   Too many people!

 Being in a relationship also helps you get out of the house.  You get invited to more things if you are part of a couple, its the truth.  People don't think of inviting the single lady.   

But honestly, if I ever met someone, we'd need either a Victorian or a mansion, because I need my space at this point.  That's what is hard.   I'd need a bigger house!

There are a lot of articles knocking singledom, and there are articles knocking marriage.  Marriage can be a wonderful thing, to the right person.  I've had two failed relationships.  The second was more like a divorce. Fortunately, no joint accounts.

Yes, I would have loved to have met someone. Someone right.  Moderately sane, who appreciates me.  

And I joke about being Miss Havisham, and dying alone waiting for a wedding day that never came...

But sometimes, being single is hard, and doesn't always feel all that worthwhile...  to plan a vacation, alone. And take selfies of yourself!  Lots and lots of selfies.  But then...  no-one to share in the memories.  In the "oh, remember this?!".  And feeling like you should just burn it all, because who is going to get it?  Its not going to mean anything to my niece.  Or my cousin's kids.   It seems silly...

And yet it is a refuge, a safe space.  My own space.   I know what works, how things work...

So, what do you like or dislike about being single?

How to use (or not) rugs.

This is for my friend Kat, whom I promised a rug post many moons ago...and my mom can also see how my house is, kind of, decorated.  

So there is the big living room rug, here, with the couch firmly plunked on one end... And peach chairs not really on the other...

This rug was actually inherited from my grandparents....I like the size, it could be just a bit bigger... Definitely not smaller...next we come to the dining room, where I just switched out the rug with the one now in the guest room.  This rug actually makes the room look bigger.   And yes, I am looking for the right piece of art for over the buffet.

Next we have the hallway and office/library...  And no, I'm not afraid of color.  Most of the following rugs were bought at IKEA, because color...

The other thing this shows is that I don't do matchy matchy.  The chair above actually matches the couch, but it just was not working seating wise.  Now the ottoman provides a nice spot for my computer snacks....

This is my don't.  The rug really needs to be longer.  Although I adore the color.  No one seems to make hall rugs anymore, as you can also see in the upstairs hall, where it just needs to be a little bigger...

Then we have two bedrooms, the guest and the master...

How Barbie taught me what to wear...

So I've been seeing a post about how the one lady in Australia is making over Bratz dolls...  and I started thinking...  and put two and two together one of the last times I went shopping, because of the types of clothes I was gravitating towards...

I grew up in Kuwait, and in Egypt.   In the 70s.  So we had some "girly" barbies, but we also had a variety of clothes for them and for Ken.   (In fact, Ken and Barbie sometimes shared clothes... mostly jackets and tops...some clothes, Ken filled out better!) as you can see in the following photo...

We had tons of accessories, as well as a few handmade things.  Most of the outfits came as separates, or with scarves/vests/jackets/etc.  Unfortunately, the truly ugly iconic ones are the ones that survived better...  not the well-loved ones.  

But I see a lot of Barbie elements in my closet today...

take jumpsuits...

Or dresses...

Or even sweaters or nighties....

And I recently realized that I've been looking for a pair of boots similar to Barbie's..

Barbie also inspired some of my love of big jewelry..  Although that may also be from my paternal aunts and grand mother.  I don't think it mattered so much to me what I wore, as what Barbie wore, that shaped my taste...  It certainly is not boring...  


But you know what? For all you parents who are concerned about your kids playing with Barbie?  Just get them a variety of clothes, because that is where it begins...