In which I have a failure to adult.

Aka Catherine is having trouble buying a car.  I don't know why.  I just have a fear of buying myself a shiny, new, working car.

I know what I want, one of those cars that is a little sportier than a "mommy" car.   I just wish they'd give them jazzy colors.   This middle-aged lady wants lime green, or purple, or hot pink, something fun.   Not beige, greige, grey, silver, or white.

I guess part of me still wants a sexy car too.

After all, I'm not doing theater as much, or choir, or teaching CCD.   Or working at the Library.

But it would be useful for CSA, for going up to the Lake, etc.... to be able to go buy a full-size rug!  Or a piece of furniture.... and bring it home...


It just feels like such a big purchase.   And a permanent purchase...

Its not so much the car, its that I have an odd love/hate relationship with permanence.   I hate change, but sometimes it is necessary.  

Piles of papers, boxes of books, towers of trivia....

Ok, so, I am not the most organized person in the world.   An Internet friend of mine uses the phrase "The Cupboard of Doom".  I can SO relate.  

I have piles.  Piles of papers, piles of proxies, piles of produce, even.  

I have boxes full of papers, some from my fleeing the ex 12 years ago.   And I fell behind on important things, I fell behind on catching up and organizing.

So I made a promise to myself this year.  As the weather gets cooler, I am going to sort at least one bag of recycling, old bills, statements, etc, every day that the weather is inclement, until I am clear.  

I filled my recycling bin with shredded stuff.   I ran out of paper bags!  

I still have piles, I still have a ways to go, but I am seeing an end to it.   I am seeing progress.

Sometimes, it is the baby steps.   It is the elimination of one pile a day.  

But man, so much paper.

SO MUCH.

Now I just have to go redeem all these bottles.   For what won't even be gas money.