Flaming Feminism, Batman!

So, I've been reading up on the "third wave" feminism.    One of the sites I had found, via a great blog, was named S-H-A-K-E-S-V-I-L-L-E (spelling it out because I don't want a "third wave" of comments coming here when people google for it).   The actual "feminist" posts on the site were good, and the idea behind a "safe commenting space" is also good, but, in practice, it falls short.   I had, before I started commenting, thought it seemed like a safe space.   But...  it is a "safe space" for the moderator only.  If you can't disagree, how can you grow?

So the moderator took an unexpected hiatus from her blog.   And I had been seeing things that just made me feel as if something wasn't quite right.   They edit your comments on S-ville.   The first time that one of my comments was edited I was furious, because, if I had not gone back and looked at it, I WOULD NOT have known that it had been edited.  They were MY words, before they were edited.  Why not, instead of editing, start a conversation about "hey, this was not cool, and here is why"?    At least send a note when you edit someone's words.    I had been furious, stepped away for a few days, came back, started commenting again.  But that editing made me feel like a horrible person, like a "bad feminist".  Which I am not.  I am careful with what I say.  I don't want to antagonize anyone.

I did read the commenting policy, feminism 101, and whatever else they wanted you to read before commenting.  But, when you have an overly elaborate commenting policy, that turns a safe space into a "lack of growth space", it makes it harder to comment.  And makes it harder to see what is ok to talk about.

When the mod went "walkabout", I googled her, I googled S-ville, and I came across another blog.   I came across one that was started by people who respected the work she had done in the past, but felt that the blog had, in some ways, jumped the shark, and become more of a cult.  And you know, there is some truth to that.

Melissa, the mod in question, does do some things that don't seem respectful to me.  There is a lot of "The worst thing ever" or "The best thing ever", "blubs", and "welp".   How about using English?  Proper English?  You can't disagree, or offer advice.  Advice is bad, bad, bad.  Because you are taking away the ability for rational thought and "eliding her lived experience".  Well, maybe YOUR lived experience has some things that hers hasn't.

Boy this is getting long.

Anyway, with various red flags going up, not only via the commenting policy, but my reaction to the commenting policy, I have been watching the out-in-the-open war between these two sites.

Long story short, both sides have a point.   The site has been overzealous with its commenting policy, and the opposing site does have some nasty remarks.  The opposing site says that they have never encouraged anyone to track Melissa down, or harass her.  They have kept their comments and observations to their own site.  That being said, including S-ville in the name, yes, it is targeted, to an extent.   But they did confirm a lot of my own observations about the current state of S-ville.  

So I don't agree completely with either site.   I think S-ville has done some good work in the past, and still has some good content, but is overly moderated.    It is, in the end, a personal site, belonging to Ms Melissa.

The current conflict and the heartache I feel.

Death.  That is what I'm seeing on my newsfeed.  Death, hate, anger.   And I just feel heartbreak.  Because something that was potentially so good turned into something so bad.

I am not in favor of Hamas's tactics.  But it is a bloody, vicious cycle, which is only going to continue.   I am not in favor of Israel's tactics either.  They have a defense shield system which does not let the rockets through.  I am not pro-anyone sitting under a hail of missiles, but why not just let Hamas use up their rockets?   Why respond so viciously that children die?

That is what is bothering me so much.  Children are dying.   Civilians.  Entire families of 18 at one blow.

And they are not letting aid through.  They are not letting doctors through.  

They are threatening the journalists.

I saw a post yesterday from Mayim Bialik, on FB, asking people to please not attack her because she is Jewish and a celebrity.   That she is pro-Israel, but also supports a peaceful Palestine.

I've seen my Jewish friends commenting on anti-Palestinian posts.  There was one that was supposedly a children's program that was teaching children to hate the Jews.   (Full disclosure: I could not watch it).

I don't know what the solution is.  I really don't.  I'm not sure there is a solution, at this point.  Go back to the outlines of the original Israel as outlined by the Balfour Agreement?  Scrap it all and start over? divide the country in half, equally?  The problem with the current situation is that the relatives of all those who are dying are going to have incredible anger and sorrow.   We need to heal that.   Israel needs to do something to say "I'm sorry your relatives died, here is what we can do"  A united rebuilding effort.

I see the pictures of Jews cheering on the bombs, and the pictures of the dead babies.  And it hurts.   It hurts that there is so much hate, from two groups who really just want to live in peace.

Both groups want the other GONE.  That is the real problem.  

I don't know what the solution is, but we need a long-term plan.  Not a band-aid.  And the anti-ads need to be banned.

(And yes, this is the legacy of colonialism).