My Rear Mirror...

hmm, its actually an apt metaphor for life that my side mirror on my car is cracked. You always look at the past through a cracked lens.. Even though you supposedly have 20/20 hindsight, you don't. You are always evaluating the past in terms of the present, in terms of aging and increased understanding...

So, what has been this year? Its been a year with some new, wonderful friendships. A year with some growth, with more understanding of politics (I'm not saying I'll ever be able to deal with these, but I have a little more understanding of what is going on). Its been a year of growth, of increasing health, of a milestone birthday... its been a year of new friends, of rediscovering the old... its been a year of ups and downs...

I'm looking forward to the new year, too... but I'm not making resolutions. I'm making changes, but not labelling them as such. The most important thing I am doing is treating myself the way I deserve and being gentle with myself... I'm getting healthy, happy, fit. I'm going to get everything I planned on doing with my house done this year... and I'm sure I'll have setbacks, but there is always chocolate!

Upon further thought, I guess what I dislike about resolutions and lists is that they tend to make you think negatively. Now I'm not one for false positivity, or denial (although I've been in both states in the past, particularly adrift on the great river of De Nile), but at the same time, making an unrealistic resolution is good for no-one. It won't help me to say "Ok, I am never eating chocolate again" or to vow that I am going to join a gym and go work out every morning... I know those tactics don't work. I can say that I am only eating good chocolate. I can say that I will do situps, or get an exercise machine and work out 3 times a week at home.

I can say, "I am joining a CSA and will be eating healthy this winter". I can keep it about being healthy, and balanced and having good influences in my life. I'm all about the positive.

Food and my health....

So recently I've been reading a lot of blogs and articles on food... and honestly, its a crazy mess out there. I have a friend who does tons of supplements, works out, and is avoiding dairy... I have another friend who is reading the 'grass-roots vegan' sites, which claim that there is a huge government conspiracy about food. I went to Aldi's yesterday after hearing people rave about it... canned goods, packaged goods, nothing organic...

I'm in between. I try to eat my meats and the top ten foods organically (berries, peppers). I belong to a CSA. But I still eat non-organically. I still eat fish, meat. I drink raw milk in the summer, and it makes a difference in my health.

I'm upset that I'm getting town water... I really don't want crap in my water like chlorine, flouride, various agents, and then its piped for miles.... and you have no idea how contaminated its gotten...

I am proof that you can get fat eating healthy things!

But my weight and health always take a nosedive the more conventional produce I eat. And I remember reading about a study that claimed that powdered milk contributed to cancer... and it does make me wonder...

But I don't go to the other extreme with no sugar, no fat, no dairy, no chocolate...

I try to be moderate. But here's an interesting tidbit. One of my CCD kids gave me a mug of candy for Christmas. I tried a little piece of 3 Musketeers. BLEAH. It tasted like crud. Really bad chocolate. And I wonder if all these little bags of mini cheap chocolates are contributing to America's ill-health. We have two extremes in the grocery store. Giant humongous bars or tiny little bars. What happened to a regular, ordinary sized chocolate bar?

And please, make it good chocolate. Most of these foods just taste horrible. They aren't worth it. Loaded with corn syrup, gums, additives... (and sorry, granola folks, but agave syrup is the new corn syrup)...

I've been trying to figure out this new food safety bill...because what we need is something to monitor pesticides, to keep small farms safe, to keep raw milk and cheese safer for those who want to eat them. For the raw milk and cheeses, use common sense! Don't sell them at Costco. If you sell them in the supermarket, keep them in separate, closed cases, where it is at an even temp, and don't store them in the back... have lots of inspections of the facility where they are produced, make sure it is impeccably clean. Test the animals, test the products. I want to be able to drink my raw milk in the summer. Its completely different from pasteurized milk.

Would I give it to a young child? I'm not sure. I might low-pasteurize it first. I almost suspect that it is the freshness of the milk, not the pasteurization (or lack thereof) that makes it healthier...

I just know we need to do something about our food system. We have the technology for healthy food, but we need to stop with all the processed crap... all the canned foods... all the plastic on and around our food, all the chemicals in our food and our water...

Yes, its been way too long...

So, dear, dear blogger, it is time to update. Its more than time. But unfortunately, I am perpetually behind. I'm behind with everything, and its just me... But I'm moving forward, slowly. The living room is half painted, the tv stand has been assembled (after more than a year!). The office is getting decluttered and organised...

The Hyperspace Bypass of my life....

So right now, I feel like I just want to go to the Restaurant At the End of the Universe. I'm so frustrated. I keep trying to get a part, to get a job, to get something other than the 12-hour-a-week dead end job I'm in. I'm TIRED of being paid a pittance for a job I do, and do well. I'm tired of being on the bottom rung, the low man on the totem pole. If I didn't do the job well, they would have fired me.

And right now, work resembles the Hitch-hiker's guide to the Galaxy more than I'd like. We have to have the office locked, the book drop locked. The carts locked in the book drop, along with the bags, and only one bag out at a time. The holds are locked in the office. And there is no drop slot, so we have piles that people leave, either while they are looking, or to return...

And its just ARGH.

I'm capable, I'm bright, I'm articulate. I'm good with people. I'm artistic, I'm well-read.

And none of this means crap.

Ranting and raving and heartaching....

So, because of Facebook, and a game I play on there, I am friends with a variety of different people. And sometimes, things they post REALLY scare me, really upset me. This was the case this morning... one of my Frontier friends posted about an 11 year-old girl who shot and KILLED two robbers. She posted it as her little pre-teen hero. I was horrified. Ok, yes, the girl was trained in guns, and that is admirable. But maybe, instead of having the child's first defense be a gun, and being aggressive towards home invaders, have the first reaction be to call 911 or get out of the house. If she had time enough to go get the gun from her parents room (and hypothetically take it out of the safe, load the bullets...because who keeps a loaded gun in their bedroom?) she would have had time to call 911. I cannot imagine the trauma to a child of killing two people...

Now granted, the same website also had a lovely little article saying that we need to profile in airports, because those darn Muslims are all terrorists and every mosque on American soil harbors them. Now, I know that the American government does do a certain amount of profiling. And they also have lists of Arabs in the country. (How do I know this? I have dual nationality, and had to renew my Egyptian passport in New York, and had to register with the American government). But the thing is, anyone can be a terrorist. Look at Tim McVeigh. He was not Muslim, he was not Arab. He pulled off one of the larger terrorist acts here in the States. Its my impression that the people who have pulled stunts like explosives in shoes and underwear have also been non-Arab. So please. Anyone can be a terrorist. And be smart, but don't assume someone is a terrorist based on their last name or their nationality.

And for the heartaching part...I want kids. Particularly this time of year. Christmas is for kids, not adults. And reading about my friends kids hurts. *sigh*

RIP Mr Mingus.

We all have people who touch our hearts, and Mr Minges was one of those for me. My coworker just called to inform me that he had passed on... You could tell that at one point he had been quite a rake, he had that twinkle in his eye... you know the one... He had a special chair at Barney, where he loved to sit, next to the Garden Club books... (We were just thankful he wasn't there when the globe for the overhead light fell and shattered!) He was lonely, and would come chat with us and then go nap in his chair...but as he got older and older we saw him less and less...every so often he would talk someone into driving him over from the retirement home, so he could visit... but for a while, he was a fixture.

He designed and built the Farmington Exchange, which runs on geothermal energy... He was ahead of his time in many ways, as well as being a character.

Mr Minges, we'll keep your seat warm for you... Rest In Peace. Mr Minges

Only if it has attachments....

Or will feed me grapes.

:)