Yes, plastic can be wonderful. But. It does not degrade easily. We have tons of it in the oceans, in landfills, everywhere. Everything is wrapped in plastic, has plastic elements, and only a small portion is recycled. (and even that recycling is sent to CHINA to be recycled. Really?) And it is downcycled.
So. Plastic is made from oil. Black gold.
Oh! We have lots of corn! Lets make plastic out of corn! Waittaminute, kiddo. How is corn grown? (hint, black gold)
I've read that it costs more in oil to make biofuels from corn, and plastics from corn (because of the oil used in growing the corn) than it would just be to use the oil itself.
This morning I read about a fabulous new project, making bioplastic out of shrimp shells. Which is actually a really good idea, except....
how are the shrimp raised? Are they raised in one of these awful farms? It is and it isn't helping solve the problem. Because those shrimp farms are horrible for the environment in their own way.
So you are still just exchanging one problem for another.
Do we need to do something? Yes.
We need to clean up our act worldwide.
We need to cut down on our use of plastics in everything/for everything.
We need to find ways to recycle.
We need to cut down on our use of oil.
So yes, keep looking for bioplastics and biofuels, but also look at where the material is coming from. Is it an abundant material because it comes from a fish farm? Or an oil-heavy industry?
We need options. We need more glass, stainless, etc.
We need more wooden toys for our kids.
We need options for the vegans, who don't want to wear leather. "Vegan leather" is plastic (and one of the more toxic varieties, too).
How much throwaway plastic will be generated this Mother's Day? For each holiday, I see more and more plastic... piles and piles and piles.
And we need to stop. Stop buying the plastic. The cellophane. Buy a nice wicker basket. Put some moss in it, with some flowers.. (and yes, the moss and the flowers will probably come in plastic...)
The plastic use has got to stop somewhere. And it stops with each of us. As we decide to use a reuseable container instead of a throwaway ziplock.
A bunch of musings by a fabulously middle-aged (40-something is definitely middle-age! EEEK!) single woman. Just random thoughts, some deep, others shallow. Strike up a conversation. Comments? Please?
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Why I do not have a problem with "Checking My Privilege".
I have privilege. I'm not going to say I don't. I look white and identify as such. I am also Egyptian, and have experienced some things as a result of that. Exoticism, for one. Egyptian women are supposed to be mysterious, exotic creatures, in harem pants, smelling of exotic spices.
Yeah, right. Leggings and soap here, people.
I'm pretty sure I'm on a list somewhere... about a month after 9/11 I got the most detailed jury questionnaire that I have ever gotten. Asking things that, really, they were not supposed to ask. I wish I'd kept a copy as proof. Things like what my religion was, etc. And I remember commenting to my ex, as I filled it out, that they were checking up on the Arabs.
I later found out that my mother and sister, both with an addy in NYC, had also received something similar around that same time.
Anyway, to get back to the question of checking one's privilege.
To me, it does not mean that someone is accusing you of being descended from slaveowners. Or that you've never experienced discrimination, or poverty, or hardship.
To me, it means, "stop and think about what you are saying". It does not mean that your world-view is not valid. It means that, here in the States, the easiest position is that of straight, white male.
You take two people with the exact same experience. A middle-class upbringing. Make one black, one white. The white person has an automatic advantage in this society. That is fact.
There is also intersectionality. That means that there are different layers and types of privilege, and different people can be privileged in different ways.
To me, what people are saying when they say "check your privilege" is "you are not listening to what I am saying", basically. They are asking you to listen to their lived experiences, and not diminish them by saying "that's not true" when you are, essentially, at the top of the pecking order.
I have been aware of being aware of the presence of black youths walking on the street. And I hate that I have crossed the street on occasion. Because I have read accounts of how much that hurts when people do it.
Awareness is part and parcel of checking my privilege. Being aware of what I do, and how I react. Even within the context of writing this post, I checked "wait, what am I saying, is there a better way to say this?". When I wrote the phrase "pecking order", it was a replacement for another phrase.
Checking privilege is just about being aware, being sensitive, and listening. Which a lot of people don't seem to do anymore. Be empathic, and compassionate, without being pitying or condescending. It is about trying to make sure many people are heard, many narratives are heard.
And it is why I am friends with people of all stripes, all nationalities. Because I want to hear their narratives. (That being said, though, I am saddened at how much frustration and anger there is on both sides, left and right, gay and straight) I wish we could find more things in common.
Yeah, right. Leggings and soap here, people.
I'm pretty sure I'm on a list somewhere... about a month after 9/11 I got the most detailed jury questionnaire that I have ever gotten. Asking things that, really, they were not supposed to ask. I wish I'd kept a copy as proof. Things like what my religion was, etc. And I remember commenting to my ex, as I filled it out, that they were checking up on the Arabs.
I later found out that my mother and sister, both with an addy in NYC, had also received something similar around that same time.
Anyway, to get back to the question of checking one's privilege.
To me, it does not mean that someone is accusing you of being descended from slaveowners. Or that you've never experienced discrimination, or poverty, or hardship.
To me, it means, "stop and think about what you are saying". It does not mean that your world-view is not valid. It means that, here in the States, the easiest position is that of straight, white male.
You take two people with the exact same experience. A middle-class upbringing. Make one black, one white. The white person has an automatic advantage in this society. That is fact.
There is also intersectionality. That means that there are different layers and types of privilege, and different people can be privileged in different ways.
To me, what people are saying when they say "check your privilege" is "you are not listening to what I am saying", basically. They are asking you to listen to their lived experiences, and not diminish them by saying "that's not true" when you are, essentially, at the top of the pecking order.
I have been aware of being aware of the presence of black youths walking on the street. And I hate that I have crossed the street on occasion. Because I have read accounts of how much that hurts when people do it.
Awareness is part and parcel of checking my privilege. Being aware of what I do, and how I react. Even within the context of writing this post, I checked "wait, what am I saying, is there a better way to say this?". When I wrote the phrase "pecking order", it was a replacement for another phrase.
Checking privilege is just about being aware, being sensitive, and listening. Which a lot of people don't seem to do anymore. Be empathic, and compassionate, without being pitying or condescending. It is about trying to make sure many people are heard, many narratives are heard.
And it is why I am friends with people of all stripes, all nationalities. Because I want to hear their narratives. (That being said, though, I am saddened at how much frustration and anger there is on both sides, left and right, gay and straight) I wish we could find more things in common.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Still stuck. And feeling disenchanted.
I'm a creative person. I'm a maker, a dreamer. An artist.
But I am stuck. Very very very stuck. I just feel as if I have tried so many avenues in my life, and nothing has worked.
In MD I was a member of the Museum, went to all the singles things. I took jewelry classes at the art school, took ceramics at Clayworks.
I went to a couple of cons at various points in my life. But they never clicked. Probably because the first one I went to, I was dropped in the deep end, literally. GLUG. The next few were with my ex, who was basically UGH. I might fit the con world if I had a room to go back to and someone to hang out with. I don't know.
I've tried the pagan community, I've tried the Church community, nothing fit. I've TRIED. I'm too straight for the pagans, too warped for the Catholics.
I don't really fit in here in suburbia either. And as someone with money, I just feel, particularly since the person I trusted told me that he was jealous of my money... I feel alone. I just feel that people are just interested in my money, and not me.
I'm greying, homely, and a little unconventional.
I'm gluten-free, so can't even go out to eat with people.
I never had kids, that's not likely to happen now...
And I just have given up.
I've tried theater, the theater I got involved with just wanted me to pay for everything.
I've tried volunteering different places. I don't like the idea of volunteering at a soup kitchen to help "the poor" because it smacks of condescension to me.
I need to find my people, somehow. I need to find my space. A nurturing, creative space.
I'm never going to find love, I'm not sure it exists. Although I wouldn't mind having sex again in my lifetime before I get too saggy and baggy.
I just want to find somewhere I am valued and appreciated. Where I'm not just seen as the CCD lady. Because I may have taught CCD, but never taught the older kids because I could never teach what I consider hate. Even if it is the Church's creed. It sticks in my craw.
Everyone else in my family is moving forward, moving on, and I can't seem to even buy a car for myself.
I give up. I have given up. I need to find a new direction, but I don't know where to go, where to look.
But I am stuck. Very very very stuck. I just feel as if I have tried so many avenues in my life, and nothing has worked.
In MD I was a member of the Museum, went to all the singles things. I took jewelry classes at the art school, took ceramics at Clayworks.
I went to a couple of cons at various points in my life. But they never clicked. Probably because the first one I went to, I was dropped in the deep end, literally. GLUG. The next few were with my ex, who was basically UGH. I might fit the con world if I had a room to go back to and someone to hang out with. I don't know.
I've tried the pagan community, I've tried the Church community, nothing fit. I've TRIED. I'm too straight for the pagans, too warped for the Catholics.
I don't really fit in here in suburbia either. And as someone with money, I just feel, particularly since the person I trusted told me that he was jealous of my money... I feel alone. I just feel that people are just interested in my money, and not me.
I'm greying, homely, and a little unconventional.
I'm gluten-free, so can't even go out to eat with people.
I never had kids, that's not likely to happen now...
And I just have given up.
I've tried theater, the theater I got involved with just wanted me to pay for everything.
I've tried volunteering different places. I don't like the idea of volunteering at a soup kitchen to help "the poor" because it smacks of condescension to me.
I need to find my people, somehow. I need to find my space. A nurturing, creative space.
I'm never going to find love, I'm not sure it exists. Although I wouldn't mind having sex again in my lifetime before I get too saggy and baggy.
I just want to find somewhere I am valued and appreciated. Where I'm not just seen as the CCD lady. Because I may have taught CCD, but never taught the older kids because I could never teach what I consider hate. Even if it is the Church's creed. It sticks in my craw.
Everyone else in my family is moving forward, moving on, and I can't seem to even buy a car for myself.
I give up. I have given up. I need to find a new direction, but I don't know where to go, where to look.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Giving up on Christmas.
There are times when traditions no longer matter. When you are the only one doing them, and the only one seeing them, it is no longer worth it. Yes, I have officially given up on Christmas. It would have been different had I ever had kids. I remember the magic from when I was a child.
But with no-one to shop for... it isn't worth it. And all that going to Christmas events does for me is just make me more depressed about coming home to an empty house.
I do play carols and have a creche out. But that is it. No tree, no cookies, no treats, no gifts. And that is fine.
It really is.
But with no-one to shop for... it isn't worth it. And all that going to Christmas events does for me is just make me more depressed about coming home to an empty house.
I do play carols and have a creche out. But that is it. No tree, no cookies, no treats, no gifts. And that is fine.
It really is.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Race in the media...
So, I have thought a lot about the portrayal of "other" in various media. And, right now, we don't have a lot of positive images out there. In full disclosure, I'm writing this as a white woman. But when most of the books for/about African-American kids involve the Harlem choir, or MLK, or slavery, then THAT is a problem. When there are no positive tv shows showing a regular black family, or anything other than the token black teenager... That is a problem. Even in adult books or magazines...or even the news! (Granted, I have other problems with the news).
But this is something that needs to be fixed! Not in a divisive manner, I have a friend who says that skin color shouldn't matter. No, it shouldn't , and to me, it doesn't, but I also think that the only way it truly will not matter is by representing everyone, and having real integration. How we achieve that, I don't know, because we have become so divided in many ways, and there is no one quick and easy fix.
But this is something that needs to be fixed! Not in a divisive manner, I have a friend who says that skin color shouldn't matter. No, it shouldn't , and to me, it doesn't, but I also think that the only way it truly will not matter is by representing everyone, and having real integration. How we achieve that, I don't know, because we have become so divided in many ways, and there is no one quick and easy fix.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Sometimes it is hard... or who I am now...
When the person whom you would have described as your best friend has taken your actions out of context. Yes, I am single, yes, I miss being in a relationship, yes, I would have liked to have kids. But you are, and have always been, a friend. Platonic. I respect you, but I do not appreciate being told "oh you shouldn't believe that". Unfortunately, there is skew on BOTH sides. We used to be able to agree to disagree... and I don't know when you stopped respecting me.
When I wear a bikini or a bathingsuit, it is because it is something I am comfortable in, not to shock you or entice you... hell, I may end up wearing a bikini when I am 90, if I live that long. Yes, I know I'm fat. But I also know that I like the way I look in more fitted things, I still have a cute hourglass shape.
You need to respect the fact that I am comfortable in a bikini. That I am comfortable with who I am, for the most part.
I've fallen away from the Church, even though I think the new Pope is going to be great for the Church, to get the church onto a more modest, humble, stable footing. I just can't take the judgementalism. I do not judge people, and they always have a chance to make right. If a former friend whom I lent money to was to come to my doorstep with a check, apologize, pay me back. Or even just apologize. I would forgive him.
(I wouldn't lend him money again, but I would forgive him)
When you have to put things together by yourself. Evidence? The half-put-together hammock stand in the back yard.
when everything you do, you end up doing alone. Trying to get a plumber, buy a car, get the car serviced... unfortunately, it is still a pretty sexist world out there.
I don't have any kind of network or support system... I don't fit in with the sci-fi geeks, with the poly crowd, with the theater crowd. I don't fit in with the Catholics, or the Atheists. I'm a mutt. I'm a bit of a hippie, too liberal for the Republicans, but a little too conservative, in some ways, for the liberals.
I applaud some of what Amanda Palmer does for body image, I think it is right that women are coming out and talking about health and body acceptance at every size.
I think if we are going to see sex on tv, we should have pickle shots as well as the ubiquitous boob shots. But I also think that tv has been flattened, for the most part, to the lowest common denominator (as, I suspect, has also happened to books, with the self-publishing trend).
Currently, my self-image is a little in the toilet, and I am lonely. I just seem to be stuck right now, because everything I do (as evidenced by my current case of poison sumac all over my body) ends up sending me two steps back for every step forward. I just need a friend, I need help. And I can't ask anyone in my family for help (nor do I really want family help, to be honest, but that is a whole other post)
And that is what is hard. I know a lot of people to say hi to, to talk with, superficially. But I don't have anyone, male or female, in my life who will call me and want to go for a drink. Or to go for a walk. Or go to a movie.
This is not just depression, although there is some of that.
Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of things I am grateful for. I am grateful to not have to work. I am grateful for a roof over my head, and even my garden, poison sumac and all. I am grateful for the friends I do have, and for the people who get mad on my behalf when certain people start behaving stupidly.
I'm grateful for good books, for chocolate, for the farmer's market, for my CSA. I know should anything actually happen, family members would show up... and be supportive.
(I'm grateful that I got to enjoy a little bit of my rosebush and peonies amidst the deluge, and that my roses seem to be blooming this year!)
Things I need to make happen:
Plumber.
Paint the house.
Plumber.
Repoint the chimney
Clean gutters
Plumber.
Put in stone paths in the yard, and stone patio in back.
Utility sink in basement... drain in basement...
Studio in basement.
Plumber.
Anyone know of a good plumber?
When I wear a bikini or a bathingsuit, it is because it is something I am comfortable in, not to shock you or entice you... hell, I may end up wearing a bikini when I am 90, if I live that long. Yes, I know I'm fat. But I also know that I like the way I look in more fitted things, I still have a cute hourglass shape.
You need to respect the fact that I am comfortable in a bikini. That I am comfortable with who I am, for the most part.
I've fallen away from the Church, even though I think the new Pope is going to be great for the Church, to get the church onto a more modest, humble, stable footing. I just can't take the judgementalism. I do not judge people, and they always have a chance to make right. If a former friend whom I lent money to was to come to my doorstep with a check, apologize, pay me back. Or even just apologize. I would forgive him.
(I wouldn't lend him money again, but I would forgive him)
When you have to put things together by yourself. Evidence? The half-put-together hammock stand in the back yard.
when everything you do, you end up doing alone. Trying to get a plumber, buy a car, get the car serviced... unfortunately, it is still a pretty sexist world out there.
I don't have any kind of network or support system... I don't fit in with the sci-fi geeks, with the poly crowd, with the theater crowd. I don't fit in with the Catholics, or the Atheists. I'm a mutt. I'm a bit of a hippie, too liberal for the Republicans, but a little too conservative, in some ways, for the liberals.
I applaud some of what Amanda Palmer does for body image, I think it is right that women are coming out and talking about health and body acceptance at every size.
I think if we are going to see sex on tv, we should have pickle shots as well as the ubiquitous boob shots. But I also think that tv has been flattened, for the most part, to the lowest common denominator (as, I suspect, has also happened to books, with the self-publishing trend).
Currently, my self-image is a little in the toilet, and I am lonely. I just seem to be stuck right now, because everything I do (as evidenced by my current case of poison sumac all over my body) ends up sending me two steps back for every step forward. I just need a friend, I need help. And I can't ask anyone in my family for help (nor do I really want family help, to be honest, but that is a whole other post)
And that is what is hard. I know a lot of people to say hi to, to talk with, superficially. But I don't have anyone, male or female, in my life who will call me and want to go for a drink. Or to go for a walk. Or go to a movie.
This is not just depression, although there is some of that.
Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of things I am grateful for. I am grateful to not have to work. I am grateful for a roof over my head, and even my garden, poison sumac and all. I am grateful for the friends I do have, and for the people who get mad on my behalf when certain people start behaving stupidly.
I'm grateful for good books, for chocolate, for the farmer's market, for my CSA. I know should anything actually happen, family members would show up... and be supportive.
(I'm grateful that I got to enjoy a little bit of my rosebush and peonies amidst the deluge, and that my roses seem to be blooming this year!)
Things I need to make happen:
Plumber.
Paint the house.
Plumber.
Repoint the chimney
Clean gutters
Plumber.
Put in stone paths in the yard, and stone patio in back.
Utility sink in basement... drain in basement...
Studio in basement.
Plumber.
Anyone know of a good plumber?
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Inspired by Amanda Palmer.
So, I went on Twitter this morning, to see that Amanda Palmer had a whole wave of people tweeting pics to her of so-called problem areas of their bodies. With the hashtag photoshop this.
I am fat. Yes. I am beautiful, but I am also fat. I will never, ever, ever be skinny. (Sorry Mom).
I am also strong, Relatively healthy, and I can do a lot with my body.
Yes, I have stretch marks. No, I don't shave/pluck/primp all the time, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'll wear makeup, nail polish, high heels... other times, not so much.
I do wear bikinis on the beach. I do wear clothes that fit, because, yes, even though I'm fat, I have an hourglass figure. I have hips, a waist, boobs. I do have a nice shape.
I don't wear baggy, floaty clothes.
My skin is starting to lose elasticity... I'm going to rock the tank tops, the cleavage, etc while I still can.
Because I am beautiful. And in my heart, I believe it. And we have to show other women that they are still beautiful, even if they aren't fashion-model-skinny.
I am fat. Yes. I am beautiful, but I am also fat. I will never, ever, ever be skinny. (Sorry Mom).
I am also strong, Relatively healthy, and I can do a lot with my body.
Yes, I have stretch marks. No, I don't shave/pluck/primp all the time, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'll wear makeup, nail polish, high heels... other times, not so much.
I do wear bikinis on the beach. I do wear clothes that fit, because, yes, even though I'm fat, I have an hourglass figure. I have hips, a waist, boobs. I do have a nice shape.
I don't wear baggy, floaty clothes.
My skin is starting to lose elasticity... I'm going to rock the tank tops, the cleavage, etc while I still can.
Because I am beautiful. And in my heart, I believe it. And we have to show other women that they are still beautiful, even if they aren't fashion-model-skinny.
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