Why I do not have a problem with "Checking My Privilege".

I have privilege.  I'm not going to say I don't.  I look white and identify as such.   I am also Egyptian, and have experienced some things as a result of that.  Exoticism, for one.  Egyptian women are supposed to be mysterious, exotic creatures, in harem pants, smelling of exotic spices.

Yeah, right.   Leggings and soap here, people.

I'm pretty sure I'm on a list somewhere...  about a month after 9/11 I got the most detailed jury questionnaire that I have ever gotten.   Asking things that, really, they were not supposed to ask.   I wish I'd kept a copy as proof.   Things like what my religion was, etc.  And I remember commenting to my ex, as I filled it out, that they were checking up on the Arabs.

I later found out that my mother and sister, both with an addy in NYC, had also received something similar around that same time.

Anyway, to get back to the question of checking one's privilege.

To me, it does not mean that someone is accusing you of being descended from slaveowners.   Or that you've never experienced discrimination, or poverty, or hardship.

To me, it means, "stop and think about what you are saying".  It does not mean that your world-view is not valid.  It means that, here in the States, the easiest position is that of straight, white male.

You take two people with the exact same experience.  A middle-class upbringing.  Make one black, one white.  The white person has an automatic advantage in this society.  That is fact.

There is also intersectionality.   That means that there are different layers and types of privilege, and different people can be privileged in different ways.

To me, what people are saying when they say "check your privilege" is "you are not listening to what I am saying", basically.   They are asking you to listen to their lived experiences, and not diminish them by saying "that's not true" when you are, essentially, at the top of the pecking order.

I have been aware of being aware of the presence of black youths walking on the street.  And I hate that I have crossed the street on occasion.  Because I have read accounts of how much that hurts when people do it.

Awareness is part and parcel of checking my privilege.  Being aware of what I do, and how I react.  Even within the context of writing this post, I checked "wait, what am I saying, is there a better way to say this?".  When I wrote the phrase "pecking order", it was a replacement for another phrase.  

Checking privilege is just about being aware, being sensitive, and listening.  Which a lot of people don't seem to do anymore.  Be empathic, and compassionate, without being pitying or condescending.  It is about trying to make sure many people are heard, many narratives are heard.

And it is why I am friends with people of all stripes, all nationalities.  Because I want to hear their narratives.  (That being said, though, I am saddened at how much frustration and anger there is on both sides, left and right, gay and straight)  I wish we could find more things in common.