Sometimes it is just discouraging...

Revolution in Egypt led to a regime/dictatorship which is putting Egypt so badly into the red that no-one will be able to get it out.

Rape culture seems to be endemic.

I can't find gluten-free chocolate anymore.  waaaah

Too much crap needs to be done on my house and my yard, and everything seems to have a corollary.

Plumber: needed to fix upstairs sink and shower, but apparently they cannot replace the dual taps with dual taps.  Also need to put a utility sink of some kind downstairs.  I want a double sink so can use for ceramics/jewelrymaking.

The house needs painting.

I want to get the back cleared, and plant some trees.  Quince, apple.  

I want a deck.

And some hardscaping.

I want to pull up the ugly walks, replace with stone.

I want to replace the grass with thyme.  

I need yard furniture

I want to have some kind of shed for the ugly trash bins.

bleargh.

I want to get rid of the popcorn ceiling.

New lighting.

The floors should also be refinished.

New kitchen, bathroom above...

And then I just wonder if I should move out and start new.  *sigh*

I need help.  Bleargh.

Help me obi-wan kenobi.

And I wouldn't mind a date.   Although, as a bright point, I've finally started using the WHOLE bed to sleep in.  (Only took ten years).  Which brings me to another thing, I need a new bed.

I give up.

Unemployed and side effects thereof...

Now, granted, for me, it does not come with money worries, lets get that straight right now.   But it is very odd going back in to the library and not going in back, and getting to work.  I went yesterday.   Got some fascinating books (new books, too, since I've been good at getting them back by the due date!).  But I also ran into two patrons from Barney, and had to tell them I no longer was working at the Library.   One man, a fixture at Barney, was very disappointed.  

But it was nice to be able to chat with some of my former co-workers at the desk...

And i had not realised the stress that I was under in that job..  which should not have been a stressful job.  My hair has stopped coming out.   Now it is just shedding at a normal rate.

The advantage of having gone virtually full-time is that I'm less in the "sitting and snacking" habit.  I'm still trying to keep to somewhat of a meal schedule.  Which is one of the things that can go by the wayside if you are single....

The house is cleaner.  I tidied the basement the other day.  Now I need to look at getting some shelving.  Shelving for the basement, for the garage.   For the "linen closet" (although why I bother with that one, since apparently I don't own any full sets of sheets anymore...)

I was sick for at least two weeks after quitting.  I think my immune system had just had it and gave up the proverbial ghost....

I still have the bug in my brain, though.  As I was skimming through the shelves, I kept thinking "This would be good for so-and-so" and I did give a couple of book suggestions to people.

Old habits die hard.  

Sundance and my sister.

So, I've been trying to figure out how to write about Sundance.   We went to see the premiere of my wonderful sister's latest movie, a doc called The Square, about Tahrir Square.

Now I'd seen various cuts of the movie.   Cuts and cuts and cuts...  early cuts, late cuts, last minute cuts.

But seeing it on a big screen just blew me away.    Seeing it with an audience around me just blew me away.

My sister amazes me.  She has made some incredible movies and met some incredible people.  She has always been a people person, I remember when she was small, she would go wander off to go talk to new people all the time!  (must have given my mom a heart attack on more than one occasion).

The thing I did not realise about Sundance is that it is a marketing event as well as a film festival.   It is a way for filmmakers to meet, talk about things, network, try to sell their films... even re-edit based on audience reaction.   I thought I was going to see more finished films...  (Just a warning, I do look at films with a very critical eye)

And I got to see some very cool movies, as well as seeing my sister in action.  I got to see her on two panels, as well as the Q&A for two showings of her movie...  Here's something from one of her panels (women in Film)

What did I see?

A River Changes Course.  This actually won an award.  I thought it could have been a little tighter...
Wajma(An Afghan Love Story).  This was a little depressing.   But it did show what happens to Afghani women, and how precarious their position is.  I'm not sure I would have called it a love story...
Citizen Koch.  The female half of the two filmmakers was on a panel with my sister...  (as were a couple of the other makers of films I saw).  This could have used a little editing.   (as will this blog post, once I am done with it...)  It only felt like it started telling a story a third of the way in...  It was a little disjointed.
Salma.   Another movie which could have used a little tweaking.  It started well, juxtaposing photographs with recollections, but somehow did not tell the whole story.   It did open the audience's eyes to a whole new culture and world, though.
In a world..  I loved this!  It was fun and flirty without being shallow.   It had strong resonant themes underneath about equality and love and family and women's rights...
American Promise.   This was good.  It still needed a tiny bit of editing, but was great.  It showed some of the educational challenges that face young black men today.   It showed some of the societal issues that still loom large...
Emmanuel and the truth about fishes.   LOVED.   Just a really wonderful "woman's movie" about loss, redemption, recovery, and everyday magic.   Hope.   Just really well-crafted, fabulous movie.
The Moo Man.  A sweet documentary about cows and the life of a farmer.   Shows a little bit of what we are losing with Big Ag...    and what we need to look at keeping.
Who Is Dayani Cristal?  Very well-done doc.  Done from three POVs, including a bit of "retracing" done by Gael Garcia Bernal.   A very different look at illegal immigration.
Ain't Them Bodies Saints.  A great movie.  very much a "western" feel, somehow.
Before Midnight.  Fun.  Very good final movie in the trilogy.   Very truthful, believable.   Loved it.

There were so many more I wish I could have seen...

May In Summer.  I actually met the filmmaker at one of the parties (How the one percent live!  OMG! This house had umpteen million bedrooms and baths, a private screening room, fireplaces galore) and he had given away all his tickets, they were so in demand...
Touchy Feely.  Toy's House. Blood Brother.  Gideon's Army. Soldate Jeannette.What They Don't Talk About When They Talk about Love.  The Machine Which Makes Everything Disappear.Don jon's Addiction.  Prince Avalanche.  Stoker.Sweetwater.  There were some shorts I wanted to see as well...

This is one place where Sundance could be a little differently organised.   Because basically you had to show up the morning of, or the morning before, to get tickets.  The theaters were all spread out over town, and some in Salt Lake, and some hours away...  and it wasn't always clear what was where, or how to get places.    There also really should be some concession for the elderly...  a drop-off closer to certain theaters, something.    You only really figured out where things were by the time the festival was over....

Did I see any celebrities?  Probably.  Did I recognise any celebrities?  No.  I'd seen Bernal in things, and he looks different in real life.  Probably the other celebs look different in real life too...

But it was still fun, and I'm glad I went.   Yay Jehane!

And just an addendum, to show how freaking cool my sister is:

http://amandapalmer.tumblr.com/post/45447144290/sxsw-moment-of-the-day-i-was-with-jehanenoujaim#_=_

My State of The Union.

1) Quit my job.   I'm free!  Free!  *hack* *cough* *wheeze*  and then I die for over a week...oh well.  And I manage to get my car stuck in a snowdrift in my own driveway!

2)The house, however, is slowly getting cleaner.   yay!  

3)The Pope resigned.   Wow.  However, the next pope is still going to be an old man.   I wish, if nothing else, that they'd bring in someone young.  Someone vigorous, who can fix the problems the Church has.   And yes, the Church has problems.  Women have a second-class rating in the church.   And I have a problem with that.

4)What next?   Getting the car out of the snowdrift, yes.   That may take a while.  Jewelry making, finishing projects, making lists.... right now, however, coffee.   And maybe a little bit of baking today.

New Year, new me?

So, my resolution this year is to use less plastic.  It may sound silly at first until you start thinking about how much plastic is in the world.   Almost everything is shrink-wrapped.    Fruit comes in plastic bags/boxes, even the meat from the Farmer's market comes in plastic bags.    Cheese comes in plastic.  So do sweets.   Gluten-free breads and some flours.  Mixes.   Salad greens.   Cereals, crackers, nuts.

Home stuff too, plastic paint trays, dropcloths.   Painters tape.   Zip ties are plastic.  

Plastic pens. Folders.

Clothes.  Even those little plastic threads that attach tags.   And "vegan" clothing often has plastic.  

Drinking straws, coffee lids...

Just so much plastic.   Ugh.

So much that just goes straight to the landfill.

And I feel like it is one or the other, if its organic, its in plastic, if its not, its doused in chemicals.

DVDs are plastic, Christmas ornaments....

I need to stop and take stock.  

And cut down more.   Even if its just in half, that will make a difference in my health and in the health of the planet, if EVERYONE just cut their plastic consumption in half.

My other resolutions?  The usual, exercise more, eat healthier, start dating, get some house projects DONE.

A very solitary Christmas. Which is fine.

I was alone for Christmas.

I built a fire.

I read a book.

I took a nap.

I was going to roast a duck, but its still frozen.

I had pickles and cheese for lunch.  :)

And I had one present.

And you know, with all that, it was still a good Christmas.

I do wish I'd bought a tree...it would have been nice to have the Christmas lights tonight.

But I did not miss the sugar, the hyper, the trying-not-to-be-poisoned by gluten...

Sometimes living alone is nice.  You can wear your jammies all day.   You can slip a little schnapps into your morning coffee.  You can do a crossword and listen to Christmas carols by the fireplace...

I had myself a Merry Little Christmas, and my heart is light.

I hope, if you are reading this, that the rest of your Christmas is merry.

The Christmas That Wasn't.

Sometimes, being single is actually ok for the holidays.   This year, I don't really have any Christmas "goodies".  I don't have a tree.  I've got my creche set up, a bit of Christmas Greenery out, but that's really it.

I don't have any treats.  I toyed with making a gluten-free gingerbread house, but decided it wasn't worth it.

I don't get gifts, which is ok, truly.   All I really want is the big stuff which I end up buying myself, eventually, because my parents dont want to "get me the wrong thing"...  

I'm just enjoying the time off, reading, relaxing...

I will be roasting a duck tomorrow...   so that will be nice.  

Of course there is a part of me that wishes I could share the season with imaginary, sorry, hypothetical, children.

If I had kids, of course we'd have traditions.  

One of those would be making a fruitcake Thanksgiving weekend.

Another would be a live tree, in a pot, which we would plant...

And another would be reading The Father Christmas Letters, by Tolkien.  

As well, of course, as some of my childhood traditions.   Gingerbread men.

Eggnog, family carols, and a fire on Christmas eve.

But this year, its still just me.  And that's ok.