Instead of leaving a comment on my friend Patrice's blog,(http://lettersfromlordship.wordpress.com/)I thought I'd add my own list here.
Fifteen books/literature that have shaped and inspired me:
1)Wuthering Heights
2)Clan of the Cave Bear
3)Anne of Green Gables (the series)
4)Time Enough For Love
5)Crocodile on the Sandbank
6)1984
7)The Iliad/Odyssey
8)Ancient Egyptian Myths (a now-ratty paperback I was given in my childhood)
9)D'Aulaires Book of Greek Myths
10)A God Against the Gods
11)Narnia books
12)Dr Doolittle
13)The Once and Future King
14)The Mists of Avalon
15)The Great Gilly Hopkins
Hmmm, looking at these, I notice a definite trend...a single heroic person, striving valiantly alone... I can't believe I left off the Lord of The Rings Trilogy... there's an odd mixture of fatalism and optimism in these books, though. And my taste in books is still similar... I own a lot of mythologically-oriented books, or books that play with Classics, a lot of what I like to call 'Heroic Mortal' books. I don't own a lot of chick-lit, but lots of historical fiction, lots of sci-fi in the fantasy genre...... Tolkienesque books... very dramatic, passionate books appeal to me....
A bunch of musings by a fabulously middle-aged (40-something is definitely middle-age! EEEK!) single woman. Just random thoughts, some deep, others shallow. Strike up a conversation. Comments? Please?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Disappointment, aka creme de la creme and 'the rest'
So I'm terribly disappointed. I worked really hard on my audition piece, really hard. I thought I'd auditioned the best I ever had, and still got shoved into the chorus. I really wanted a PART. I know I can't dance, but I thought I did well with the rest of it.
I do tend to feel like I'm almost 40 and haven't accomplished anything. *sigh*. I had a dance teacher once who divided the class into the 'creme de la creme' and the rest. I got put in the 'rest'. I feel like I always get put with the 'rest', no matter how hard I work.
I may call them back and turn it down. I wanted a part. And it sounds like they've given all the small parts away, and there's only so much ensemble one woman can do without something meatier...
And part of me wonders if I'd taken the time to work on Vallis with my voice teacher if maybe I would have gotten to do something fun there..... instead of getting put with the 'rest'. But I doubt it.
It just hurts so much. I hate being classified as 'not good enough'.
I do tend to feel like I'm almost 40 and haven't accomplished anything. *sigh*. I had a dance teacher once who divided the class into the 'creme de la creme' and the rest. I got put in the 'rest'. I feel like I always get put with the 'rest', no matter how hard I work.
I may call them back and turn it down. I wanted a part. And it sounds like they've given all the small parts away, and there's only so much ensemble one woman can do without something meatier...
And part of me wonders if I'd taken the time to work on Vallis with my voice teacher if maybe I would have gotten to do something fun there..... instead of getting put with the 'rest'. But I doubt it.
It just hurts so much. I hate being classified as 'not good enough'.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Race, sex, and self.
This is not an easy topic. There are many, many, many blog posts on it, many quotes...what inspired this particular post is my friend Dan's Facebook status, in part.
"I have a dream that one day my children's children will be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."- Martin Luther King, Jr. "I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male [judge] who hasn't lived that life." Sonya Sotomayor, University of California Law School lecture
Dan, I see where you are going with this, and in part, I agree, but we are also colored (pun only half intended) by our experiences and the culture in which we grew up. A WASP is going to see things differently than someone who grew up in the slums of Mumbai, or someone who grew up in Harlem. We've all had different experiences, and that does flavor our actions and reactions and decisions... but reverse racism isn't the answer either. Its not just about being Egyptian, or Latina, or Argentinean, or straight, or gay, or even female or male. Sometimes we do put too much stock on labels, rather than just being people.
She does have a point, in that her experiences have given her a different outlook, and different outlooks are always valuable. But at the end of the day, aren't we all human? Shouldn't we celebrate both the cultures we grew up with as well as our common humanity? Because even the white male and the Latina woman, the homosexual male and the dyed-in-the-wool Catholic, the poorest person from the garbage village in Cairo and Donald Trump, we're all human. We all love, hate, feel. We all had parents, we were all children, we all have dreams.
And sometimes I think we get too involved creating niches. But then I also see my CCD students who have never seen poverty, even second-hand, or the parents who censor even the G movies... and I worry that they will grow up with such a narrow world-view that they are unaware that there are people who are different than themselves. Because even with all the wonderful changes towards multiculturalism, there are still strange biases and stereotypes. I sometimes find myself falling into the trap... I think we all do. I saw a wonderful production a couple of years ago, with Connecticut Opera, of Don Quixote (sp?). It was set in a 'Western' setting, and everyone was multicultural, except for the fact that they plunked in an anachronism. An Asian servant. He was made up to look Asian, with the coolie hat, everything. And it just felt wrong to me.
And I see not creating stereotypes, and not perpetuating stereotypes, but we have to not fall into the opposite trap as well, by picking someone on the basis of race or gender or sexuality alone. We have to start looking at people as a whole, not ignoring their race, but including it. Because your race does still affect you, in this day and age. Your nationality affects you... it is all a part of who you are.
Me? I'm a straight, Egyptian American, Dual national, who speaks French, who is single, who also has a hearing impairment. I'm fat, short, grew up abroad, went to boarding school, I like to read, and I have a gluten allergy. :D I've had some amazing experiences in my life, but these make me different from someone who grew up in California, then came to the same boarding school, then went on to something else.... I was different from the other Egyptian kids I went to school with because I also had American characteristics, but when I came here, I stood out because of my Arab characteristics. And in college, I was asked to be a member of UMOJA, because Egypt is in Africa, therefore I was African. I'm an African who gets sunburned! That, to me, emphasised the absurdity of some of the labels we have, and the oddities that can result from trying to combat labeling. That by identifying ourselves as something, we end up tying into the culture that we are trying to combat and level.
"I have a dream that one day my children's children will be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."- Martin Luther King, Jr. "I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male [judge] who hasn't lived that life." Sonya Sotomayor, University of California Law School lecture
Dan, I see where you are going with this, and in part, I agree, but we are also colored (pun only half intended) by our experiences and the culture in which we grew up. A WASP is going to see things differently than someone who grew up in the slums of Mumbai, or someone who grew up in Harlem. We've all had different experiences, and that does flavor our actions and reactions and decisions... but reverse racism isn't the answer either. Its not just about being Egyptian, or Latina, or Argentinean, or straight, or gay, or even female or male. Sometimes we do put too much stock on labels, rather than just being people.
She does have a point, in that her experiences have given her a different outlook, and different outlooks are always valuable. But at the end of the day, aren't we all human? Shouldn't we celebrate both the cultures we grew up with as well as our common humanity? Because even the white male and the Latina woman, the homosexual male and the dyed-in-the-wool Catholic, the poorest person from the garbage village in Cairo and Donald Trump, we're all human. We all love, hate, feel. We all had parents, we were all children, we all have dreams.
And sometimes I think we get too involved creating niches. But then I also see my CCD students who have never seen poverty, even second-hand, or the parents who censor even the G movies... and I worry that they will grow up with such a narrow world-view that they are unaware that there are people who are different than themselves. Because even with all the wonderful changes towards multiculturalism, there are still strange biases and stereotypes. I sometimes find myself falling into the trap... I think we all do. I saw a wonderful production a couple of years ago, with Connecticut Opera, of Don Quixote (sp?). It was set in a 'Western' setting, and everyone was multicultural, except for the fact that they plunked in an anachronism. An Asian servant. He was made up to look Asian, with the coolie hat, everything. And it just felt wrong to me.
And I see not creating stereotypes, and not perpetuating stereotypes, but we have to not fall into the opposite trap as well, by picking someone on the basis of race or gender or sexuality alone. We have to start looking at people as a whole, not ignoring their race, but including it. Because your race does still affect you, in this day and age. Your nationality affects you... it is all a part of who you are.
Me? I'm a straight, Egyptian American, Dual national, who speaks French, who is single, who also has a hearing impairment. I'm fat, short, grew up abroad, went to boarding school, I like to read, and I have a gluten allergy. :D I've had some amazing experiences in my life, but these make me different from someone who grew up in California, then came to the same boarding school, then went on to something else.... I was different from the other Egyptian kids I went to school with because I also had American characteristics, but when I came here, I stood out because of my Arab characteristics. And in college, I was asked to be a member of UMOJA, because Egypt is in Africa, therefore I was African. I'm an African who gets sunburned! That, to me, emphasised the absurdity of some of the labels we have, and the oddities that can result from trying to combat labeling. That by identifying ourselves as something, we end up tying into the culture that we are trying to combat and level.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
A myriad of thoughts....
1) A question: Would folks be interested in reading a column about what is new and good at the Library? I'm trying to figure out how to get some income, but do something interesting. I was thinking of going to local libraries, checking out the books in the New Section and writing a column on the ones i like (and didn't like too, I suppose). There are a lot of book reviews, but I'm not sure there is anything that actually showcases hidden gems in the Library.
2)Product placement is everywhere these days. I just tried out a new game online, and it was basically an advertisement for traditional beauty products. *sigh* Even the teenage books talk about using stuff you find at the drugstore, traditional pads, tampons, etc. There doesn't seem to be any usage of washable pads, the sponge, the cup, or even the organic versions. And a note to the makers of this game, douche is not a beauty product. GRRRR.
3) Aging sucks. My father seems to have mostly reverted to his inner five-year-old. If I ever have kids, they will have a wonderful time imitating their grandfather. Me, not so much. Its ironic that the man who was so focussed on appearance is now so oblivious to it. I wish there was a good option for what they will do next... I am not comfortable with them going back to Egypt, particularly in the light of the stuff I learned this weekend. My hypothetical kids may not end up with a grandfather, because he is going to end up getting himself bopped on the head one night.
2)Product placement is everywhere these days. I just tried out a new game online, and it was basically an advertisement for traditional beauty products. *sigh* Even the teenage books talk about using stuff you find at the drugstore, traditional pads, tampons, etc. There doesn't seem to be any usage of washable pads, the sponge, the cup, or even the organic versions. And a note to the makers of this game, douche is not a beauty product. GRRRR.
3) Aging sucks. My father seems to have mostly reverted to his inner five-year-old. If I ever have kids, they will have a wonderful time imitating their grandfather. Me, not so much. Its ironic that the man who was so focussed on appearance is now so oblivious to it. I wish there was a good option for what they will do next... I am not comfortable with them going back to Egypt, particularly in the light of the stuff I learned this weekend. My hypothetical kids may not end up with a grandfather, because he is going to end up getting himself bopped on the head one night.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Clothing thoughts...
This isn't a rant, per se, about clothes shopping. This is a musing on clothes and attitudes towards clothes. There is a difference between Europe and the US in terms of clothes. It really struck me when I got off the boat last year, and continues to amaze me... and a conversation after Mass yesterday reminded me of my thoughts.
It was a conversation about how some people dress. One of our esteemed directors is usually unshaven, in jeans, while the others are a little more spiffy. One, in particular, is spiffy, all the time. (as an aside, I love that word, spiffy, spiffy, spiffy, spiffy)
And then I was reading through blogs, and was directed to a fashion photography blog, which tied in to the thoughts from after Mass, as well as the fact that I've just gotten some cute clothes both online and at Forever 21.
And it really does make a difference. Wearing nicer clothes, even when lounging around the house, does affect your self-esteem and self-image. I bought myself a cute little lounge set for around the house, and I love it.
But I noticed in Paris, and even in Spain, most people looked nice, the regular folks (when we saw them) always looked put together, jeans always belted, when they wore them, without gigantic holes. Just smart. But there were very few jeans, and no exercise clothes (and yes, I have been guilty of wearing yoga pants outside the house).
Now I just need to learn to hem my clothes.
It was a conversation about how some people dress. One of our esteemed directors is usually unshaven, in jeans, while the others are a little more spiffy. One, in particular, is spiffy, all the time. (as an aside, I love that word, spiffy, spiffy, spiffy, spiffy)
And then I was reading through blogs, and was directed to a fashion photography blog, which tied in to the thoughts from after Mass, as well as the fact that I've just gotten some cute clothes both online and at Forever 21.
And it really does make a difference. Wearing nicer clothes, even when lounging around the house, does affect your self-esteem and self-image. I bought myself a cute little lounge set for around the house, and I love it.
But I noticed in Paris, and even in Spain, most people looked nice, the regular folks (when we saw them) always looked put together, jeans always belted, when they wore them, without gigantic holes. Just smart. But there were very few jeans, and no exercise clothes (and yes, I have been guilty of wearing yoga pants outside the house).
Now I just need to learn to hem my clothes.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Writing thoughts....
So I was reading my friend MaryAnne's blog this morning, where she had written about an author's fictional makeover of the American continent without the North Americans. She has also written on race writing, and the fact that because this is a society with still some homophobia/race issues/etc still inherent, its difficult to get away from while writing. You can go to the opposite extreme too. I own a collection of sci-fi/fantasy short stories that is supposed to have fat heroines. The problem is that it goes to the opposite extreme, that the writers were so conscious of writing fat heroines, that they went overboard and you got slapped in the face with the fat, and not with all the other great qualities that these heroines should have. I have read at least one book where I only realised the heroine was 'fat' halfway through the book. That is good writing.
Good writing is when you know that the heroine (or hero) is fat, S.Asian, blind, Egyptian, deaf, skinny, talented, creative, lost, etc, but that it is part of their character. Good writing is not about having one quality of a character singled out and shoved in your face. Good characters are complex, layered individuals. Just like people. People are not always completely evil or complete saints...
Good writing is when you know that the heroine (or hero) is fat, S.Asian, blind, Egyptian, deaf, skinny, talented, creative, lost, etc, but that it is part of their character. Good writing is not about having one quality of a character singled out and shoved in your face. Good characters are complex, layered individuals. Just like people. People are not always completely evil or complete saints...
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Gluten-free international goodies! Paneer, Rasgulla, Idli mix, a couple of flatbreads...and there is a LOT more at the store. I love shopping in ethnic markets, I also ended up with a perfectly ripe mango, coconut water for a 1/3 of the price that Whole Paycheck carries it for... All kinds of different gluten-free flours, some are even labeled with their grinds.... And most of them have ingredients in English, and you can always ask.
I even got a pan specifically for making idlis! i am so thrilled about finding this place. The roasted favas are amazing, that little bit of crunch and salt....mmmmmm I got lovely dates on my previous visit.... lots of fabulous dried fruit....
If you want to go, its :
Cosmos International Market
770 Farmington Ave
West Hartford, CT
(opposite the AAA)
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