What is friendship?

Friendship is loyalty. Friendship is caring about another person's wellbeing. Friendship is giving and accepting. Friendship is knowing that someone may not be exactly like you, may not like the same games and things, but that you get along well, that you have a connection. Friendship is supporting your friend.

Friendship is forgiveness. Friendship is love. I have a couple of great friends. I've also lost a friend, and I'm grieving that. (He's not dead, we broke up).

I really wish we could talk, but he is feeling stressed. I'm trying to give him space so that maybe we can still be friends... but I miss him. I miss chatting with him on Facebook, I miss being able to get something to eat with him, I miss having someone who would always run out when it was time to shop...

I don't miss being nervous that he thought I was a snob... I don't miss his TMI moments, and I don't miss trying to reassure him that he would find a job. I don't miss feeling like he didn't trust me at times. I only told two things that he ever told me, and the first was before I knew him well. He told me he was looking for a job, and I shared that with another friend. And the other thing was something I was so horrified by, I told other people, because I thought he needed to hear reassurance that he didn't 'destroy the choir' from other people, not just me, because I didn't feel like my reassurance was getting through.

I know I screwed up a couple of times. And maybe I should have continued to go to Morning Mass. And maybe I should have sat with him at the catechists dinner... the morning Mass thing was because I didn't want to hear Father Flynn being negative about Doug on Mondays, or hear the ladies parroting his latest opinions.. I didn't want to be put in the role of intermediary. And then we became friends, and I REALLY didn't want to get put in the middle. And I didn't want gossip either. I didn't want people assuming there was more going on than just friendship, than just hanging out. So I tried to keep things a little separate.

And maybe that was a mistake. I don't know. Because supposedly 'everyone' was telling him not to go out with me. Why? I wish I knew. Because of gossip? Because I'm not the traditional Farmington homeowner? Because I'm not Martha Stewart? Because I'm not a good little through-and-through Catholic who has *gasp* lived with a man? Because I think women deserve a stronger role in the church? Because I hate the church's stance on some things?

I have friends. I have friends who are very different from me. I have polyamorous friends. I have gay friends, I have actor friends, musician friends, teacher friends. I have friends from college. I have friends who are pagan and friends who are Catholic. I have friends who are Muslim..... I have friends all over the world.

I just wish losing this one friend didn't hurt so much...