Confidence is a funny thing....

Sometimes, the less you know about something, the more confident you can be in just jumping in. Its only now, after I've had some training, that, in some ways, I'm less self-assured. What brought this on? Well, hearingaids and loose molds. Because my molds are loose, I'm squeaky. Squeak, squeak, squeak.... but sometimes life marches up to you and says "You CAN do this".

I had a voice lesson yesterday. I haven't sung all summer. I have squeaky ears. One of my batteries died in the middle of the lesson. Guess what? I sung well. I was mostly on pitch, and I proved to myself that I could do it, even with one ear with a loose mold.

I need to remind myself that I have a decent voice now, that I can sing on pitch, I know how it feels to sing the right note (and a lot of singing is actually mental). I need to keep that confidence and not denigrate myself, and not be scared of screwing up. Because most of the time, I am singing well.

I need to remember that.

This summer, I joined a group of "mezzo-soprano" singers, the rest of whom are professional singers. One of the founders described the group as "talented people", and, sadly, my brain added "and me". I know I still have work to do on my voice, but I wish I could stop the negative self-talk, because I am worlds away from where I was. But it feels, at times, that the more I know about my voice, the more negative I can get.