Not-So-Deep Thoughts...

Sorry that I haven't posted in a while, oh Faithful Reader. I've been busy. I've had a bunch of thoughts recently, though (gasp! She THINKS too!)

I just read a book by Kirsten Lobe, called French Trysts. It details her fictional sexcapades in Paris, before she reconnects with her true love. And then there was a movie tonight, called Trust The Man, which was also about relationships and sex.

Both of these, at heart, are about knowing what you want and working out a relationship. Of trusting the other person that is out there. I just end up feeling so lonely... I go out there, and I am happy with myself, comfortable with myself, but yet, somehow, I'm unapproachable.

What gives? Do I have cooties? Do I smell?

Granted, it doesn't help that every man I meet seems to be significantly older, married, or gay.

All I want is to date. DATE. I'm not even looking for s-e-x at this point (lived without it for five years, I can go a little longer). It just feels sleazy to go to some of these singles things. And Internet guys?? Ewwwwww. Tried that before with my last few relationships...blech.

And yes, I have tried Home Depot, I've tried going to the grocery store after work and picking a couple things up, and flirting (and guys, if you are married, wear your ring, PLEASE). I go to church regularly, but I'm not really interested in the 'church singles' group. I'm sorry, but lets all meet up in a group and go to pray the Rosary? Oh yeah, that's a stimulating single activity.

I work at the library (although it would help, in the summer, to work upstairs, and NOT in Children's), I'm in community theater (and guess what, the guys there are all married too).

Hey, God, I could use some help please. It is impossible to try to date and meet people in this day and age. And I'd like to someday have a 'last man I kissed' be someone other than my ex.

Bleah. Trying to date is worse than trying on swimsuits.

My creations...

I just got a couple of pieces back from the studio, and I am so happy! They turned out so much better than I ever anticipated. I wanted to share pics. I handbuild. The first piece was created with slabs and molds, the second is completely freeform.

Do you know this man?

Or to title more accurately, Catherine is losing her mind to senile dementia.

I was going through a box in my house. I have many boxes filled with papers because I became disorganised with the ex, and never got my stuff together after that.

And I found this pic. I remember trimming it to fit the frame I had. I remember he gave me the pic. Other than that, its a fog. I have no clue who this cute boy is/was. His name? Might have been Todd. Yeah, he looks like a Todd. Lets call him Todd, and make up a nice backstory for him.

Heh. I also found my English Language notebook from when I was in S4S. And my sticker collection. Ms Pac-Man? Michael Jackson when he still looked human? (Girly, but human).

Scratch and sniff puffy stickers! Heh.

Eye candy, derring-do and insomnia...

So I watched an old friend tonight... The Three Musketeers (1993), with lots of eye candy...
Tim Curry, Keifer Sutherland, Chris O'Donnell.

Here's the listing of who is who:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108333/

I like corny movies, I like swashbuckle (without a lot of gore or CGI). I like romance and true love... Its why I like opera, and light opera... I like the one liners (although I think Oliver Platt was a bit heavy-handed in some of his delivery...) I love that "how to seduce a woman" scene, where they show that language can be as thrilling and arousing as a great kiss...

I love movies where true love reigns supreme...

But now I'm edgy, awake and lonely. I want my Musketeer, my Indiana Jones, my own hero to come sweeping out of the ether... I want my Romeo, my Lancelot, my Yuri, my Heathcliffe...

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

I had (another) dream

Hmmm. There must be something in the water...

This was a really surreal one. I was at some outdoor festival/concert-type thing. And I had some free time, so I went into this place that sold handmade clothes. I started trying things on, and lo and behold, I was skinny! (In real life, I go into a store, try on clothes, and scream in horror at my fatness, but I digress) The clothing needed to be specially designed for me, so the designer, who was in the store, started measuring me, and doing all kinds of things... I have a memory of her designing a fake chicken puppet out of crystals. And doing show-offy things, dropping things around for her assistants to pick up. And then she needed to see me privately, so she went into this curtained, raised room, almost a box, but it was dark. The assistant boosted me up and helped me to crawl in. Then she made a pass at me! (designer, not assistant)

I remember in the dream grabbing my pantyhose and my purse. I was in a bra (this just proves it was a dream!) and panties, and ran for the hills. The hills ended up being the streets of Cairo, Egypt, and I was looking for the back way into Groppi's. I circled the block about five times, and finally found the entrance. I woke up as I was going down the stairs.

I do wonder about some of the subtexts here, as I post this. I wonder if I'm afraid of getting thinner. I'm a reasonable size now, but could stand to lose about 20 more pounds. Hopefully I'll be having more dreams, maybe blogging them will help me remember them?

What is your word?

A friend sent me this, and its a wonderful idea:

http://aliedwards.typepad.com/_a_/2008/01/the-words.html

Pick a word you want for the coming year.

I think mine will be:

Inspiration.

I want to inspire others and want to be inspired as well. Its a circle of life and inspiration.

What is your word and why did you choose it?

Last night I had the strangest dream....

I dreamt that a friends partner had died. And I was consoling him, just holding his hand and being there. Then it changed from that to practicing for something with him, and I was right on with the notes and all, I was a soloist in something.

It was a very very very strange dream.

I don't usually dream, or remember my dreams.