Thoughts and frustrations...

As much, in many ways, as I love the Catholic Church, the smells and bells, and the fact that other services don't say 'Church' to me, I am considering leaving. I have many gay friends, one of whom is getting married to his partner. And I can't stand the Church's attitude towards homosexuality. It is a very different thing today than it was in the time of the Romans. Back then, at the time of the Church's founding, it was the province of the 'degenerate' Greeks and Roman Emperors, Tiberius, Nero, Caligula... (and apparently the spell-check doesn't like the Roman Emperors' names) It wasn't a loving equal relationship, it was pedophilia. Which is ironic, considering the Church's recent history.

I also cannot deal with pro-life focus anymore. I'm pro-choice and pro-life...I feel that women do and should have a choice, I think they should know about the emotional consequences of that choice, but those natural feelings of grief should not be channeled into "Abortion is Wrong"/end of discussion. Most women who consider abortion are women who are caught between a rock and a hard place anyway. Of course all life is sacred and should be treated tenderly, but the quality of life is sacred too. Bringing a child into a family where they will be abused, or live in extreme poverty....

It does sadden me immeasurably to write this, as I do believe in a lot of the Church's teachings, but I don't feel I can support an institution that does not embrace two people loving one another. An institution that claims to believe that love is at its heart. Here's a thought...Jesus could have been gay. He had a male apostle whom He loved who He gave his Mother to before he was crucified, as his mother. In my book, that sounds an awful lot like a spouse. We don't know if He was, or if He was married to Mary Magdalene, or if He was single. But we know He was about love and acceptance. And the church seems to be straying away from that.

Yes, I am conflicted. I do love the church, don't get me wrong. But I think the Church is wrong on the issue of marriage. Marriage should be between two people who love each other enough to commit, heart and soul, to the other person.