Plastic, the environment, and MY disabilities.

I have a number of "disabilities".  Hearing impairment...my god, the batteries, and the STUPID little plastic tabs and the plastic casings.  I try to recycle the batteries, but can't do anything about the tabs or the casings...I'm basically battery-operated.

I have endometriosis.  Its a disease you can get if you have a uterus.  It is chronic, it is fatigue inducing, and can cause enormous pain.  I've known women who say giving birth is less pain than an endo period.

Endometriosis has been linked to the hormone disruptors in plastic.   These hormone disruptors are in the plasticizers, so soft, flexible plastic is more dangerous to me than the hard-sided kind.  But all plastics have some degree of these in them.  (And the "substitute" is really just as dangerous as the original)

But have you ever tried to avoid plastic?  It isn't easy.  I do have glass and ceramic containers for the fridge, and for storing sugars and flours.  But all of these come in some kind of nice plastic bag.  So you have to decant them from the plastic.

Dried fruit? plastic.  Salads? plastic, usually bags, but you can find hard-sided, which at least is hypothetically recyclable.   Even cans now have a nice plastic liner.  *sigh* And "waxed paper" is apparently now waxed with plastic.  Those paper ice cream containers and milk cartons? plastic liners. Teabags are often wrapped in plastic.  And then you get to prepared fruits and veggies which are all in plastic.  ARGH.  Or the dairy products that have the plastic sheet that you have to stab to get open...  *sigh*

Its discouraging, when you try to avoid plastic.  Everything has plastic.  And most of it gets thrown away, and not recycled.  Because it can't be.

And you know that the plastic is leaching into your food.

There was a time, in the thirties and forties, that we did not have so MUCH plastic.  There was refrigerator glass.   (Like tupperware, but glass)  Even in the seventies, there were non-plastic options.  And then....

KABOOM.

And I hate it.

That being said, in the summers, I do a CSA.   and I'm figuring out ways of transporting the veg/fruit without using so much plastic.   I have a couple of mesh bags, and a couple of cloth ones.  I have cloth grocery bags.

I try to buy things that use recycled plastic.   Post consumer recycled plastic.   I have a number of ceramic bowls that I use to store produce in the fridge.

But even as someone who tries to use less, I'm still amazed at HOW MUCH is out there.

Here is what i wish stores would do.  No more plastic bottles.  None, zip, nada.   Sell us fruit juice concentrates rather than big plastic bottles of juice.   Have a fruit salad bar where people can bring in their own containers, or buy an eco friendly container.

Your plastic habit contributes to my endometriosis.

My lying in bed, unable to function, because of the pain.   My losing at least one week every month.

And yet, plastic is immensely helpful to others with different disabilities.   To people who cannot swallow, plastic straws are a godsend.   Plastic tubing, light syringes for people who need to inject themselves...   We need a happy medium.   And yes, we need to cut down on everyday/unnecessary  plastic so people who really need it can use it. And we need alternatives for people like me.

Lets talk boycotts...

So, I have a lot of things I'm boycotting/avoiding as much as possible.  And its just getting discouraging because it is HARD.  We are losing our options, faster and faster.  

I'm doing BDS, because we need to support Palestine.  And it is one of the few things I can do.

I'm still "Grabbing My Wallet" and avoiding anything Trump-connected, which is getting harder to do as the corruption spreads.  

I'm avoiding Amazon.  Its too big, and does not treat workers well.

I'm also avoiding Eden Foods, because, even with the nutty granola ethos, they are a "pro-life" company.   And just no.  I want my granola with women's rights.

I avoid Walmart too.

But...sigh...

I'm tired.  I'm tired of having to sit in the grocery store and google to see what the stance is on my food, or if my rice is high in arsenic, or if its a company that mistreats workers (oh yes, Driscoll too)

I'm tired of everything being problematic. of being so vastly consumerist.   *sigh*

And I just can't give these companies my money anymore, but..its all on fire.   Its all problematic.

And I'm tired.  I'm tired of not being able to consume responsibly.

I'm tired of still needing gas and oil to heat my home.   If I could boycott those companies, I would.

I'm not boycotting kickstarter yet.  But so many of these companies that were supposed to help with freeze peach and help creators are actually anti-creator, anti union.  

I want to be able to shop.  I want to go into a store and buy local foods, eco-friendly stuff.  I want to be able to use capitalism ethically.  I'm tired of there ALWAYS being something.  If its prison labor, for foods made in America, or child labor for cocoa harvesting or mica mining.   Or even overuse of plastic.  

When the oil runs out...

Dear fellow suburbanites,

We will be so fucked when the oil runs out.  (Not if, when).  In every apocalypse movie I've seen, the grass is still cut, the traffic lights still work, you can still find working cars, and the toilets still flush.  We will be worse off than African countries that get water from a "watering hole".  Many, many people will die.  

I've had people tell me that I need to become a "prepper".

No.

Guns won't help either, you will run out of ammo sometime, and you can't eat or drink ammo. (and unfortunately, bears are still pretty tough to kill (and apparently taste gamey).  Hunting takes skill, and if everyone is running after Bambi in suburbia?

How are you going to heat your homes?  Or even get to a farm to get vegetables?  If you plow up your land to grow food, you still have to water it. Where's the water going to come from?

On this Climate Strike Day, we need to demand better options.

We need to figure out how to retrofit suburbia, NOT build new/more suburbias that are "eco friendly".  We need to figure out how to use existing systems and yet get rid of the oil.

For example, I have an oil burning furnace that creates hot water and heats the house with hot water with cast iron baseboards.  My furnace actually needs replacing.  And yet I am hesitant, because I keep hoping an eco friendly option will show up to replace it, that will still use the hot water and the baseboards, but not use oil.

My house also tends to have pretty decent crossbreezes with open windows.  But growing up in Egypt, some houses had "windows" that opened above the doors to be able to have a crossbreed, yet keep the doors shut.  

In Ancient Rome, they had fountains spaced around, fed by aqueduct.   You still had to carry your water home and up the stairs (if you were poor or middle class).   They had public baths.

In Old London Town, there was a lot of filth.  Privies that leaked into wells, sewage tossed into the Thames.   We do have a decent sewer system, but...what happens when the plant breaks down?

We need to start thinking and talking about these large scale options.   Because right now, suburbia is so precarious.    We have these huge grocery stores, warehouses, full of food.  But so dependent on oil.   Oil to grow the crops, to ship them, to keep them refrigerated.  

Go look in your fridge...I'll wait.  Where do your avocados come from?   Your watermelons in the dead of winter?  Even if they are "American" they are probably from California.   That takes at least two or three days of driving cross country to get the food to you.  And even then, it is mass-produced.

I'm scared.  I am genuinely scared.  Our lives are unsustainable.

Just think about this as you go through your day, your week.  How much of your life depends on oil?

It is almost too late (but not quite)

Earth Day Depression.

So its Earth Day, and we are so fucked.  Piles of junk mail that just goes in the recycling bin.  No options for upgrading houses, etc.  When I bought my house, I wanted to go green, little did I know in suburbia, the neighbors would come to my yard with poison and spray my ground cover.  Because I need to grow grass!  but then, oh noes! the grass is too long!    Oh you can't use an ELECTRIC mower, it has no power!  ETC, etc etc. We haven't come up with anything innovative for eco friendly heating...  our infrastructures are failing...  And people are just "yay! balloons! plastic! etc!"  I'm just unbelievably depressed about the world, about life, about everything.

*sigh*

The last week of 46...

So my birthday last year was horrible.  It was the day after the election.   And it was just soul-crushing.  Unfortunately, I've kind of given up on having a social life and a birthday party, because every time I try, just one or two people show up.  

Even at 46, soon to be 47, I'm still looking at my life, at the mistakes I've made.  And we've all made mistakes, its part of growing up.  And the best of us continue to grow as adults...  continue to evaluate who we are, etc.

I did make a mistake when I moved to Farmington and tried to make a fresh start.   Because I tried to do that in places where there really were not the spaces for me.  I'm not sure there are such spaces, but I think one of the things I may have to do is try and build them.   I got to know a lot of people peripherally.  

But.

So many buts.

And I can't believe I'm going to be 47!  In some ways, I still feel like I'm in my twenties.  And yet my grandmother was around my age when she became a grandmother...

In three years I will be 50.  Officially old.

And yet..

I still love looking up at the stars.

Reading a good book.

Dressing up for Halloween.

Hanging out with small kids.

Sci-fi.

Art.

Hugs.  (We all need more hugs)

Cooking.

Nature.

I'm aging, but not "gracefully" or traditionally.  I'm always going to be a bit of a wild woman, a hippie...  Somewhat opinionated.   ("Somewhat" she says). I was more blunt in college, and I'm going back to that, a little more, but without the blinders I had in college.

I'm hoping in the year of being 47 that I can become more authentically myself.  Finally.  That I can speak out for the more marginalized, and speak out for truth, for justice, for right, and for myself as well.

And who knows, maybe I will start actually getting a social life!

But no, no birthday party here...  maybe the Doctor will show up in her Tardis and whisk me off...

allons-y!

Sylvia. A review.

So Sat night I decided to go see a local community theater production of Sylvia, by A.R Gurney.   And I was very pleasantly surprised.

You walked into the lobby of the theater and were instantly introduced to a representative of Big Fluffy Dog Rescue, along with a mascot/ambassador, which, along with appropriately named snack bar treats, really set the feel for the show right off the bat.

The show has a tremendous amount of energy from the dynamic cast, all feeding off of one another and obviously having fun.  The set was simple but very well designed, and very adaptable.   Opening to a living room you got to meet Sylvia, played by Jill Luberto with infectious enthusiasm, and Greg, her new owner, played ably by Steven Siemiatkoski.





You then met Kate, Greg's wife, played by Jennifer Tellier, who is horrified that her husband has picked up a DOG at this time in their lives.   The themes of the play, love, self-truth, relationships, marriage, all really show up throughout the course of the show.  It isn't just a play about a dog, or about a midlife crisis, but a story about connection, and about love and affection.  And this was brought out by the able direction of Jim Ryan.    Tom, Phyllis and Leslie were all played by Adam Cormier, who brought out the unique qualities of each character.  The scene with Phyllis and Sylvia was amazing.   They, and a stellar group of stagehands who did seemingly seamless transitions, really kept the energy and momentum going in the show, and really brought the characters alive for us.  I would like to applaud them for a stellar night of theater.  

If you want to see the show it is at Hole In The Wall Theater, 116 Main Street, New Britain, CT. www.hitw.org, Sept 23 through October 8, with one Sunday matinee on the 25th.   (860)229-3049.

You might even come home with a dog of your own!  

The problem with endometriosis....

So, it is a gorgeous day.  My original plans were to go to the beach, but instead I'm in bed, exhausted and slightly crampy.  (My slightly would be ugh to anyone without endo).  So you feel wiped, and are low in iron, so you try to eat something easy, or nutritious, or something to give you enough energy to do something, anything...let alone anything constructive.  It's too much effort to even sit up.  But you get into bad habits when all you have in the fridge are ingredients, and the kitchen is messy from your last bout of cooking.  So you get into bad food choices, ie cheese, cheese, glorious cheese because it doesn't take effort...  Or a handful of trail mix, or cereal...  And then you still don't have energy...  And you feel guilty because all the lovely produce is going pttthhhbbbt.....ugh.  My view from my bed.  And the fridge full of ingredients