Feeling alone....

Nothing makes you feel more alone than being sick... I'm just so mind-achingly alone. I don't have peers to talk to, I don't have kids (and probably will never have kids at this point). I don't have a career. I live completely alone, my life is alone. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having to take care of myself when my head has been in the toilet for five hours.

Yes, of course there are some good things about my life. I've had a fun role in a play, which has been fabulous, I'm involved with the theater, and I have a few supportive friends. I do ceramics, which is wonderful for me. I just need more. I'm tired of sleeping alone, of coming come to an empty house. I'm just so tired of it being just me, all the time. And not being able to move forward. I'm just stuck. Stuck in the same damn place. Bottom of the totem pole. Not being able to use/showcase my talents.

I'm smart, literate, pretty good with people, fair computer skills, artistic, creative. And yet....

In some ways, I feel more alone here than I did up in MA...because here I have other people's happy families shoved in my face, constantly. God, I need a hug. Or maybe five.