Memories of Margaret

My aunt Margy died on the 25th of Feb, and there is a hole in my heart. She was a larger-than-life presence, as her memorial service attested. So many people got up to speak about her, and about her impact on their lives.

I wanted to share some of my memories of Margaret. She was loving. She had a temper, and was stubborn. She was also independent, and protective. She loved coffee, donuts, and color. She liked pink, RED, yellow, blue, all the colors of the rainbow.

Even though she was developmentally disabled, that wasn't going to stop her. She knew where all the Dunkin Donuts were, and wasn't above hijacking a trip so that we could stop and get coffee.

She was legally blind, but had an incredible sense of direction. She was determined. Even on oxygen, with a walker, she had oomph and gusto.

I remember her, larger than life, as a child. She developed patience for kids as she got older, when I was little, not quite so much! I cannot count the number of times she flattened my toes! (Maybe that's why my feet are so wide?)

When Marg was on vacation, she was really on vacation. Nothing that happened in everyday life happened on vacation (except the meds). Exercise? Eating habits? No. She was the Queen. She was ON VACATION. My mother earned the title of 'bossy' by insisting Marg do things, snap beans, etc. How dare she? Marg was ON VACATION. In Florida, she'd sit outside...at the Lake, inside. She'd listen to music, she loved Elvis, the Beatles, the old songs...and she'd sing along...

She loved her families, both blood and at the Village. She was the matriarch of the Village, and really ran the place...the staff were just there to help HER, when SHE wanted them to. She knew when to use a threat....'watch out, I'll start breaking furniture again!'.

You had to be very careful when trying to pull a fast one on Marg...there was a point in time when she was supposed to not drink coffee... I had tried to switch the regular and the decaf up at the Lake. She caught on REAL FAST. (I don't know if this was before or after they had apparently tried this at the Village). I've never run so fast in my life!

She also was not supposed to drink wine, so we'd mix up a concoction of various juices and such and pour it into a wine bottle for trips to the club, so Margy would have her own 'wine'. This didn't always work so well. Marg was sharp to keeping an eye on what people were doing...

She was also enormously savvy socially. When we'd go to the Clubhouse at the Lake, she would sit in state in the corner, and let people come to her.

One weekend, when Sarah and I took her out to dinner, we went to her favorite place. We found out WHY it was her favorite place. We sat down, the drinks person came, asked us if we wanted a drink, Marg rattled off her drink order, and then added 'And I'd like some cheese and crackers, please'. Sarah and I were dumbfounded, especially when the waitress CAME BACK with a plate of cheese and crackers. It wasn't until we were walking out, walked through the bar section, and saw a gigantic hunk of cheese surrounded by crackers, that we put two and two together.

Marg didn't let anything stop her. She did ceramics, gorgeous art, Meals on Wheels... she touched many, many people... and lived for the moment, glorying in every second.

Marg, I will miss you. I know you are up in Heaven right now, chasing the gorgeous men around, with a perpetual refill of coffee...